I have watched the ceremony of the resolutions come and go through the years. I have done it – made a list of resolutions that I can stick to! Rarely has any of those resolutions lasted more than a month. In my opinion this ceremony serves two purposes – 1) It causes us to lose sight of our past successes and 2) It brings to the forefront the isolation we feel in our failure to keep our written goals. In short this ceremony appears to leave us powerless in the face of the many hidden traditions and cultural assumptions of western culture. Narrative therapy suggests otherwise.
What traditions and cultural assumptions of western culture do I speak of? Why the most insidious and sneaky ones of course – that of guilt, shame, fear, blame, anger, individualism, silence and many more… Each of these problems has a long history with the Ceremony of the Resolutions and each knows just what to do to derail any serious attempt to shake up their rule of our lives, our families’ lives and our cultural narratives.
As a narrative therapist I see it all the time. People love the idea – the resolution they reach for and they fail. Without the foundation they tumble and fall back into the sticky, sneaky ways of the problems. How do you find a new direction without setting yourself up for failure? Well it’s really simple – just notice that your already doing it.
Your future has already arrived in the present moment. Instead of creating a list of things you want to accomplish in the future, create a list of ways you are already accomplishing and some of things you want to do in the future. Say what? I mean it – sit down and try it right now.
Here are the rules – Read the rest of this entry »
